Ok, maybe it’s a bit of a rant, but I’ve tried to exert some restraint. Think of it as a compassioned complaint.
Hey, it’s my blog, I do wha’ I like!
AVP. First let’s laugh at the ridiculous abbreviated title. Do I blame T2 or ID4 (or Independence Day)? Yes, I do. But that doesn’t let the makers of AVP of the hook. The rest of the film seems to be a bad computer game with some poorly written characters and dialogue. I did actually like Predator, as far as undemanding popcorn nonsense goes it’s fun. Alien – excellent. Aliens – very good. Alien 3 – I was one of those people on the ‘but it’s brilliant’ side of the fence. Alien Resurrection – well, I liked the new improved Ripley….. everything else pretty much stank, particularly the Alien/turd hybrid. I think the point here is that there is some serious sense of diminishing returns at work here. As nice as it would be to see Alien somehow returned to it’s former glory I have 2 problems.
Alien and Predator are only being brought out because the idiots who care about the crap games and comics think it’s worth wringing some last drop of money out of these once worthy endeavours.
Why do they need ‘restoring’ to their former glory? Just watch the originals again. The need to remake or do sequels is akin to digging up the peaceful resting corpses of the good and decent and molesting them.
7 comments:
Well, you're going to hate me for this but... i actually quite like the idea of AVP. don't ask me why, it must have something to do with a direct link to the sci-fi horror/action fuelled part of my brain. i totally agree that diminishing returns are at work, but somehow i still think the new one is going to be great. kind of like the people i lambasted in my 'i, robot, shit' posting the other week.
perhaps it has something to do with liking computer games. i was tempted to watch van helsing because it looked like a pc game i liked (nocturne) instead of being put off because it looked like a pc game i liked and not a film. happily i never got around to seeing it, so i can stay sitting on the fence and not have to make any kind of informed decision about it.
I kind of agree... I was hoping, in a deep dark uber-geek recess of my mind, that this would be the sci-fi/horror equivalent of 'The LOng Big fight' from the fast show, just with very big monsters... Same as I kind of hoped Van Helsing would be just well... vamp slaying fun, which it so wasn't (you're very wise to stay away, Paul)... But everything I've seen of Aliens Vs Predator points to it being a complete waste of time.
BUt yeah, complete cross-marketing cash in cluster f**k, by the looks of it.
BTW totally with you on Alien 3! Can't see what everyone's problem with it is, apart from no big guns, which is about the lamest reason I can imagine...
I don't hate you Paul,I pity you :) I, Robot sucks but AVP looks great?! You are so out of my cool book.
I've not thing against computer games and it's obvious that I like (some) comics, but I think they're having an incredibly damaging influence on film lately. Mainly it's because directors (or studios) are just copying the surface elements of both mediums.
What gets me about AVP is that it really has very little to do with A or P, in the same way the Van Helsing (Hugh is great, but even he could not help that dull empty pointless mess) couldn't care less about Frankenstein's monster, the Wolfman or Dracula. All these film makers care about is the recognition and fanbase these properties bring and therefore the money. It's also lazy - why create something new when you can suck the marrow from something established.
I'm against sequels or remakes in principle, but in practice so many of them suck.
Is Paul Bettany in it? As a bumbling upper-class Brit? Otherwise I probably won't bother, thanks.
balls, i didn't even realise i was in the cool book and now i'm out of it again! you're quite right, i deserve nothing but pity for this.
i've not seen enough clips of AVP to state conclusively that it looks good to me (although i did read a very bad review in the paper yesterday), it's more the idea i'm enamoured with. if for no other reason than i love the alien films and, while you're quite correct in you marrow/surface/load of blockbuster tosh analysis, i do think there is a lot more good stuff that could come from the alien canon. i remember reading a couple of books and comics many years ago and enjoying the whole aliens-on-earth idea, but perhaps the big screen isn't the place for it - not when it requires a hollywood budget and an original take on the material, the two don't seem compatible these days.
Look at this, I open myself up in other posts and barely a word, as soon as I moan about films I get all these comments. You people.
I guess there is still stuff that can be said about Alien and I did actually like the first 2 Alien comic stories (and a couple later ones) but most of them were dreadful. Sadly the kind of people still into Aliens are probably not the best peopel to explore them. Although I wonder what there really is to explore, the same goes for Predator - "They're these, like, aliens, right? And what they do, okay, is kill? Y'know? But, like, they're really good at it?" What makes the first 3 (IMHO) Alien films work is that they aren't really about the Aliens, they're about the threat of them and how it effects everyone. AVP seems to exist to just get the franchise going and pit these two cool looking monsters against each other. I like fighting monsters as much as the next sad geek excuse for a man but when it's as dull and witless as this I'd rather watch Godzilla vs Mecha-Godzilla.
BTW sorry Katy, no Paul Bettany I'm afraid.
yeah, we're all bitches. it's just that it's harder to say something interesting and new in reference to a thoughtful personal piece, but easy to toss off a few words about the latest feature.
right now, for example, i really want to comment on the creative impulse but instead i'm going to go to bed and think about it, then probably fail to post my intersting comments tomorrow! oh well, such is life.
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