Thanks to everyone who responded to my earlier post, on and offline (special thanks to Gopher for his thoughtful response)
Had a brief sort of unofficial chat with a counsellor friend and have a pretty good idea of where I need to go from here.
INJ (hope I get a freebie mug or t-shirt!) hit’s the nail on the head, a lot of this angstiness is work (not my day job) related. The other problem is the usual selfesteem issues, some of it to do with writing and drawing and some of it personal.
In about 4 months there’ll be new Harrison-Davies and I’m so looking forward to it but I think I’ve been putting myself under a bit of pressure to get things done before then instead of simply enjoying the process of doing them (ironically when I don’t question it not only is the work better and more fun but I do more, gah!) which has just worn me out.
Thankfully the sun has beaten all the worry out of me as it’s far too hot for anything other than sleeping and melting into a sunburnt puddle.
4 comments:
Re: The pressure of getting things done before the bairn arrives.
Nay panic.
Stuff gets done when it gets done. I had the same panic before my son arrived and just got myself in a tangled knot with worry. If I'd known how his arrival would change my life before, I'd have taken it a heck of a lot easier and worried a great deal less. They say it changes your life... in truth it re-arranges the furniture a bit and brings new meaning to your world (along with new smells). It's hard work, you hear that fromm every parent, but by golly the perks are well and truly worth it. Every smile worth a thousand sleepless nights (alright, maybe three or four), each cuddle worth every dirty nappy (life's a lot simpler before 'solids').
You'll probably write more, I'd imagine. Prior to my sons arrival I had to seek out motivation to get work done. But now he's here, I have all the motivation I need. It can be chaotic, but chaos brings a need for order, and that's a great help when us creative types are cast adrift in the milieu of ideaspace.
All very reassuring to hear.
I used to say that it would be brilliant to work in a book shop and actually have a kid come to the counter with one of my books, now I'm hoping that one day I get to read one of my books with my child, that's gotta be worthwhile motivation!
Alan Moore had a mad panic to get somewhere with comics just before his daughter was born. He said he'd spent a huge amount of time writing unfinished epic space operas and not actually knuckling down to anything, but the baby spurred him on.
So there you go, the same happens to prolific uber comic gods. Not just us mere mortals.
Alan Moore is just amazing really, I'm a huge fan (somewhere in my blog archives is a foaming at the mounths fan's appreciation that I wrote!). Not only did it spur him on but he actually took the step of leaving his steady job at the time to take the plunge into freelance work with hardly anything to his name, yes it was worked out but it was still a big risk he, and his wife, took. Inspiring stuff.
I remember reading that he felt the epic stuff was just a way he put off actually finishing anything which is a pretty familiar tale also very familiar. I like that people can be so very different but also have so many shared traits.... it means I get to compare myself to Moore!
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