Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Did I make you think?

Here’s a packed post as I fit in all sorts of nonsense that’s been on my mind in an effort to satisfy Katy’s thinks post.
Big news is that Rebecca finally got the results of her
scan after a irritatingly pointless delay, and the news is good. The doctor says that the cancer is showing very encouraging signs of shrinkage. Had no idea how heavy the weight on our shoulders was until it lifted, which leads neatly onto the next point.
We went to a Cancersupport centre last week and Rebecca insisted that I stop telling people I’m fine. The truth is Rebecca has been taking things well and I’ve been having a tougher time. The woman who spoke to us told us this is no where near unique, in fact it’s pretty typical as in a lot of cases those closest to the person with cancer have a harder time coping. The problem is that when Bec is so positive I don’t want to bring her down, and it feels wrong to harp on about what’s bothering me when something so major is happening to her. It turns out those feeling aren’t unique either.
Over the last 2 months I’ve slowly felt like my own sense of self has been slipping away between looking after my wife and child has left me with less time for myself, made worse when one of our parents comes to help out and I find even more expectations put on me (not to undermine how much help they give, which has been fantastic).
As I’ve drawn less, read less, written less and so on I’ve become a little more withdrawn and miserable. Oddly this doesn’t effect me all the time and has had no impact on the fantastic opportunity this horrible thing has given us to be a family with no work commitments for a while.
Writing this I feel like I’m whining about nothing, but rebecca doesn’t think so, and if she’s concerned then I want to sort it out. I do have the sneaking suspicion that she’s using this to get me to deal with the fact that I can pretty miserable without the aid of an ill wife. Anyway, the upshot is that Cancersupport offer a free bunch of services to the sufferer and those close to them, Rebecca's scored some massages and I get to see a counsellor.
On the up side the woman we spoke to was incredible impressed with Rebecca’s attitude, and thought I was doing much better than I thought I was, and it was reassuring to hear that I’m not feeling any different to a lot of people in this position.
No doubt due to my gloomy mood I’ve rediscovered my love of Henry Roliins thanks to Youtube. I don’t have a tape deck any more and my Rollins is on tape so it’s been a while, and I sort of thought he was a bit to, um, teenage, for me. Guess I’m still an angst riddled teenager at heart:)
Here’s one of my favourite Rollins songs (my fave is ‘Low Self Opinion’, but the ‘Liar’ video is better!)

Okay, part of the thinking bloggers bit is this -
I gots to nominate 5 bloggers who I want to join in, sorry if I don't name you, I enjoy all the blogs I link to I'm just a jerk

Okay, he doesn't post that often, and sometimes tries to past of quickie posts as real ones, but when he does post I always remember what a thoroughly lovey bloke he is and want to give the charming chap a big hug.

A very talented artist with a blog with brilliant work here, but what I really love is his other one, the one where he fills my geek head with insightful geek tomfoolery.

I dream that I could cut my arm off and replace it with his thereby being the fabulous artist he is. Sadly this is but a dream (although I have been know to visit Nottingham so be warned INJ), so I just look at his artwork in awe.

I'd love to put Garen on this list, but he's pretty much dropped out of blogging and sticks to updates about hsi excellent comic Rainbow Orchid, luckily his brother Murray's blog is always interesting and either offers whole new stuff for me to find or tells me something I didn't know about something I already liked.

Curtis Jobling
The guy created the look of Bob the Builder, he's working on his very own Frankenstein's Cat cartoon adapted from his fine book and Biteneck Beatniks absolutely rocks.

For the above writers, this is your mission should you choose to accept it:
1. Write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Proudly display your TBA award with a link to the post that you wrote


Meghan said...

Olivia is gorgeous!

Do you mind me asking how old she is? Our little guy turns one on the 12th. They grow like weeds, don't they?

Katy said...

Fantastic news about Bec! You really do have an amazing wife.

You guys have had a rough ride over the past few months and I hope the good news, combined with the counselling (and massages) help.

I'll sign off with my usual comment - Olivia is beautiful! xx

paulhd said...

Thanks Meghan, Xan is really cute too, my sympathies on the teething, Olivia's still going through it at random interval and it's really upsetting to not be able to do much to ease it. Olivia's just turned six months which blows my mind, not just how fast she's growing, but seeing her able to do more things each day.
Cheers Katy, Bec is utterly amazing, and Olivia is beautiful, see how clever you are to know this:)