It’s been a strange couple of days for reasons I’ll mention in a later post and I’m feeling a bit shell shocked. Looks like the end of 2005 is going to be a hectic one for me.
End of 2005.... it’s not far away. I’m sort of glad it’ll be a struggle as I can’t wait to see 2005 end and I want to sweat it out of my system with some solid toil. It’s not been a bad year, but the main thing is that during it I’ve (and that should really be ‘we’ve’) come to realise that it’s time for some serious changes. As I’m a bit of New Years Resolution type person it seems pretty appropriate that I try and instigate them in the new year after work has, hopefully, calmed down a little.
So, what are these changes? Well, that woud be telling:)
Oh, okay, they’re just a bit dull that’s all. I’m not going to get a sports car (although if we can sort the money out a motor bike is a serious possibility) or find me a young blonde trophey wife. No, the changes are a bit more fundamental than that, character changes really, rethinking the way I look at things. I really don’t fancy waiting til I’m forty to change the life I’ll grow to hate, it seems to make more sense to try and figure that out as soon as you realise the life you’re living’s not going in the direction you want it. And I’m just not the person I want to be, which seems a bit rubbish really. I’d like to be a bit more comfortable with me and get over all my own nonsense.
Gosh, that all sounds very grand and yet incredibly vague. Oh well, makes it the perfect post for a self indulgent blog then :)
2 comments:
I feel that way, too. 2005 has been...hard/joyous/dark...I don't do New Year's resolutions cause I find them to be set-ups for a fall but I do have self-improvement decisions. I'm finding so much satisfaction in the life I (we) lead, too, and my goal is to continue to find joy in what we have. Brainmarket's done the forty thing (but bagged me at 38 I guess preemptively to a mid-life crisis)! We're probably getting married in 2006...but I need to do some serious self-reconditioning as to how I view the whole institution cause I'm afraid it'll ruin us...oh and find my husband that I misplaced a few years ago and divorce him first...we'll save that for another time...
Re New Years resolutions. They aren't win lose set ups. Every effort I made to make them work counts and the failures make me try harder.
Re Marriage. Well, I don't have the same history, but as an atheist who married I obviously believe in the institution... or at least I believe in my wife and I want people to know it and that's all that counts.
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