Monday, June 06, 2005

Forgive this ramble as I make sense of myself

As I wrote yesterday my increasing lameness has been building into a bit of a backlash and I felt that today would mark a change. Part of my fed upness has been over how badly I sleep. I struggle to go to bed at night, always finding something to distract me, yet once I do get to sleep there's nothing more I want to do and it takes extreme effort to get me up (I set 2 alarms for an hour earlier than I need to get up (I then spend that hour hitting 'snooze' every five minutes) obsessively checking them at least half a dozen times before I sleep) What I want to do now is get up at a reasonable time every day and use the extra time productively. Today started well, I was off and Rebecca was starting her first day at work, I woke early so I could see her before she left, but an hour later I was in bed with a cup of coffee. No idea why I did this, if you lie in bed then you'll probably fall asleep and I'm at my most tired when I've just woken up, in other words it was a recipe for disaster and I knew it.
I've atempted to claw back the day and to some degree I've been successful, I've written 500 words on my latest story, done the washing up, I've started my excersizes in the middle of this post (you can probably hear the grunting if you listen carefully) so it's not too bad. But this is another dangerous pattern of mine, doing nothing for long stretches of time and then over compensating, it inevitably leads to me tiring out and stopping altogether. What I need is balance, I need to be able to use my time productively, and anyway sleeping is not always relaxing, relaxing should have an element of productivity to it, such as relaxing with a good book, or with the newspaper or having a relaxing stroll through a park, for me sleeping is as way of delaying something important or difficult, I do it when I'm down.
Okay, enough of this rambling, I'll do better tomorrow, promise.


paul said...

everytime i read/think stuff like this i'm left wondering if there's anyone who doesn't get stuck like this at least sometimes. i know exactly what you mean about the overcompensating - the day seems so long that you prat about online or staying in bed, then decide after a bit that there's not actually enough time left to really do anything. honestly, i know it shouldn't be the case as normally 9 hours a day are devoted to going to work... i suppose the difference there being that there is no choice of activity, at home i find too much.

interesting how you always seem to have a flurry of blog activity after posting that you probably won't be blogging for a while! still, as the mood takes you is always best.

oh, and ta for the comic reviews, i shall be checking them out. have you seen sin city by the way?

paulhd said...

I did have a quick change of heart didn't I? Weird really, but the best way I can think of putting it is that once I got fed up of things as they were I didn't see the harm in looking at things differently.
Hmmm, Sin City. The problem is that the comic is an awful cliched sexist purile mess. I enjoyed the first storyline but after that it became clear that it wasn't a pastiche and that Miller had nothing left to say. But as a film it shows so much respect for comics as a medium that I'm curious to see how well it's adapted. So I'll probably see it but with low expectations. THat it's got Mickey Rourke in a decent role again is a bonus, I used to be a big fan back the day.

paul said...

well, sin city. i certainly enjoyed it, violent, hard boiled, and some very interesting visuals (i found them slightly reminiscent of the saddest music in the world in feel); on the other hand i pretty much totally agree with all the reviews i've read citing lack of plot, point or even a proper noir sensibility.

i think watching with low expectations is the way forward, you can be entertained by what it is without bemoaning the above criticisms.