Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year to everyone!

Truth be told I had a really nice New Year’s Eve but the whole thing was even less festive than Christmas. NY just sort of slouched in like some adolescent with nary a grunt of recognition. Oh well, doesn’t change my plans for the year.
Being a New Year resolution kind of guy I’ve made a fair few this year. I’ll not bother sharing them all as it’d be a pretty tedious list, but the gist of it is to ‘be better’. I do it every year (and every Summer, Spring, month with a letter in it’s name, etc.) with varying degrees of success, but after I realised that even though I don’t always succeed (and how do you ‘succeed’ in being better? Isn’t it an ongoing process with no real end in sight?) trying does have a positive effect so I just carry on making them.
This year I feel far more committed after feeling that I’m ready for a big change, but most importantly I want to be the best version of me I can possibly be for when we have a child.
There’s been a few reasons why we haven’t wanted kids 'til now but for the main one has been the fear of bringing someone like me into the world, passing on my failings by letting a child grow up in the kind of bobbins environment I might provide just seems cruel. Also, what if I’m rubbish at being a dad? Timing wise we’ve got about 20 months before we have a baby (obviously for now I’m assuming everythings in working order, we’ll have to check that out. Gulp!), will that be enough time to be less of a bibble? Hope so... for the sake of the children! Well, child actually.

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