I’m in a rut. It’s still warm from the last time I was there actually. Work’s probably the main reason, it’s hectic, it’s exhausting and it’s frustrating. When I get home there’s no energy left in me for the things I usually enjoy. Writing and drawing are the first things to go when I get like this but then I don’t exactly enjoy them as such, I mean I enjoy what the need to write and draw makes me do sometimes but it’s a struggle so they’re the first things to suffer. I stopped reading halfway through a book I was enjoying, the comics I’ve been rereading are really good but I’m only rereading them because I’m familiar with them. I’m not making choices about what I eat, in other words I’m eating a fair bit of crap but mainly what I eat is uninspiring and it’s boring eating it and I’m eating more of it because I’m bored. Am I exercising? Am I hell. I like exercising. Still not doing any though.
Blaming work is probably only part of the story of course, but I can’t put my finger on the rest of it, other than habit, or stupidity.
The most annoying thing about all this is that it’s pathetic. I just want to slap myself and snap out of it. Of course the only thing that gets me doing stuff again is just getting on and doing stuff, but that’s really really hard. It’s hard until I do it, then I become unbearable going on about how it’s really easy and I should have done it earlier.
Sorry for the self pity, normal self obsession will be resumed as soon as I get over myself.